As I’ve written about in numerous other places on this blog, one of the more common situations I see in my practice is when a couple has been destabilized or thrown into crisis due to a new revelation from one of the partners about their sexuality. Some years ago, the most common type of revelation involved orientation, in which typically the male partner would be discovered or would initiate disclosure that he was gay. This was more common back before the kind of social acceptance that we are privy to now, but I certainly still do work with a number of men that still struggle in their coming out process.
Nonetheless, these days I’m seeing more of a trend of “coming out” issues revolving around sexual interests such as kink/BDSM and nonmonogamy. Just as social mores around orientation have evolved, so has this social awareness affected other forms of sexuality, such as BDSM, polyamory, swinging, and other forms of non-traditional relationships. As part of this process, media, in the form of magazines, books, and television and film have shed light or even popularized such “alternative” types of relationships. With 50 Shades of Grey selling more than 125 million book copies and the movie version grossing more than $500 million at the box office, it is no surprise that a growing number of people are becoming more aware, less judgmental, and more curious to explore new sexual behaviors within their own lives. Much of my own work, including my book Modern Sexuality and my Psychology Today column, has been in the service of helping individuals process and integrate new understandings of sexuality into their own lives and relationships
However, with all of these social changes afoot, mental health clinicians such as psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers still do not get enough training in sexuality, let alone alternative forms of sexuality. With this in mind, I have worked to establish training programs to assist clinicians that recognize they may need additional continuing education in working with patients/clients that bring up sexuality concerns in session. The Alt Sex NYC Conference, held every spring in midtown Manhattan and the Sexuality Speaker Series, which I both co-founded with sexologist Dulcinea Pitagora, offers live training.
But not everybody can make it to NYC, and many more need an extended, comprehensive program that provides a deeper dive than any one conference alone can provide. So, after many months of discussions and planning, I am happy to announce a new certification program in “Alternative Relationships”, in collaboration with the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. This 50 credit program provides 20 hours of case consultation and can be taken remotely from home via live or recorded streaming video. I have recruited some of the greatest minds and respected experts in the field and, together, I believe we’ve created one of the finest and most rigorous programs available. I’ve provided a more thorough description of the program below. Also feel free to go directly to the training page to read more about what the program offers.
Description
Modern Sex Therapy Institutes and Michael Aaron, Ph.D. are proud to announce the first ever Alternative Relationships Certification Program!
This 50-hour certification program comes with 20 hours of case consultation with Drs. Michel Aaron, Rachel Needle, and Ricky Siegel. Licensed clinicians can receive continuing education credits. Attend one course or the full program! The courses are all available fully online using our state of the art learning platform making participation convenient for you. Scroll down for more information including a list of courses offered.
For the upcoming live workshop calendar please visit https://modernsextherapyinstitutes.com/news-events/#alternative-relationships-upcoming-workshops
| Course | Presenter | Hours |
|---|---|---|
| Introduction to Alternative Sexualities and Working with Relational Systems | Michael Aaron, Ph.D. | 3 |
| Understanding Non-Monogamy | Zhana Vrangalova, Ph.D. | 2 |
| Working with Relationships Transitioning into Alternative Structures/Expressions | Michael Aaron, Ph.D. | 3 |
| Introduction to BDSM and Kink | Rhoda Lipscomb, Ph.D. | 2 |
| Alternative Sexual Expression and Desire Discordance (Working with couples with varying sexual interests) | Michael Aaron, Ph.D. | 2 |
| Working with Ego-Dystonic Sexual Expressions | Michael Aaron, Ph.D. | 2 |
| Specific Clinical Issues with Polyamorous & Non-Monogomous Relationships | Margie Nichols, Ph.D. | 2 |
| Specific Clinical Issues with BDSM/Kink | Rhoda Lipscomb, Ph.D. | 3 |
| Integrating Kink with Harm Reduction and other Therapeutic Modalities | Michael Aaron, Ph.D. | 2 |
| Clinical Issues Around Negotiating Consent | Emily Prior, M.A. | 3 |
| Kink as Normal – Helping clients embrace their authentic Kink desires | Galen Fous, MTP | 3 |
| Unique Subcultures (Furries, otherkin, vampyres, etc) 40 minutes each | Courtney Plante | 1 |
| Understanding Sex Work and Sex Workers | Emily Prior, M.A. | 3 |
| AltSex and Gender Non-Conforming Individuals | Lucien Felding, Ph.D. | 2 |
| Typical Issues Working w/BDSM & Kink (sex ed) | Emily Prior | 2 |
| Understanding the Spectrum of Gender Expression | Don Dyson, Ph.D. | 3 |
| Understanding the Spectrum of Orientation Expression | Brent Satterly, Ph.D. | 3 |
| Authority-Based Relationships | TBD | 2 |
| Intro to Polyamory | Jim Fleckenstein | 2 |
| Poly course on dos and don’ts for therapists on working w/poly relationships | Jim Fleckenstein | 2 |
| Psychodynamics, Archetypes, the Unconcious and Kink | Galen Fous, MTP | 3 |
| Psychobiology of BDSM | Edwin Perez, M.D. | 1 |



Prevention: Is Sex Addiction Real?
Romper: Emotional Infidelity
Fatherly: BDSM More Common Than You Think
E! Online: Marrying a Murderer
Who Magazine: What is Bisexuality?
CNN: Why Men May Exaggerate Their Sex Numbers
Women’s Health: 10 Kinky Sex Ideas
NY Post: How Tattoos Can Sabotage Your Love Life
Allure: 8 BDSM Sex Tips to Try If You’re a Total Beginner
Great article in Prevention Magazine about the sex addiction controversy. Check out what I had to say.
Romper approached me again for another quote, this time about emotional infidelity.
Interesting piece in Fatherly about BDSM in which I was interviewed.
https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/bdsm-kinky-sex-not-uncommon/
E! News picked up my an interview I did with Vice a few years ago about hybristophilia, which is the attraction to criminals. Very interesting story.
Who is Australia's version of People Magazine. They wanted to know what bisexuality is and I provided some insight.
Seems like something doesn't add up on sex surveys-- are men exaggerating their number of partners? Check out what I tell CNN.
Women's Health asked me for some kinky ideas to spice up one's sex life.
I was interviewed by the NY Post about all the ways in which I've seen bad tattoos sabotage relationships.
Allure Magazine asked me about tips for BDSM beginners.
I answer questions from Salon.com about the infamous porn site PornHub.
I tell Cosmo about the personality traits of monogamous individuals.
I explain to Refinery29 why it's so important to not fake orgasms in a relationship.
I am interviewed in this fairly nuanced piece on the pros and cons of porn.
I am interviewed by Headspace, one of the best meditation and mindfulness apps available, on how to become more present.
https://www.headspace.com/blog/2017/05/26/enjoy-sex-more/
I am interviewed in this intriguing Business Insider article on how often happy couples have sex.
The Huffington Post in South Africa profiles my work around challenging sex addiction (including my red/yellow/green menu exercise) .
I go deep into the sex toy business with Vice.
I give some insight into this interesting topic.
https://thetab.com/us/2017/03/22/happens-boyfriend-leaves-another-man-63306
I am featured in this outstanding article in UK's Independent on women and virtual reality porn. I thought this was a fairly sharp and nuanced piece.
I give Redbook some pointers on having a 3some for the first time.

Playboy sent a journalist to watch Fifty Shades Darker, and then compared the movie with the results from my recent groundbreaking research on BDSM. Great article, enjoy!
I am featured in this terrific New York Magazine article, discussing some of the finer points brought up in the earlier article in SELF magazine (see listing below).
I am featured in this terrific article in SELF magazine on the nuances of the sex addiction debate.
Complex asked me to weigh in on this provocative topic.

I weigh in in this great advice column in Thrillist by Elle Stanger.
Great episode, check it out.
https://soundcloud.com/futureofsex/04-exploring-sexual-fluidity-bicuriousity-for-women-featuring-skirt-club-and-dr-michael-aaron
I give couples advice on how to deal with differences in preferred sleeping arrangements.
Alternet does a great job of reviewing my book. Check out the link below.
In this episode, we talk about the societal myths of sexuality, including:
I was asked to appear on Australian radio. It was a very fun segment, will post the link when I have it!
I appear on the Stereo-Typed podcast to discuss my new book, fantasies, and our shadow self. Click the audio player below and enjoy!
https://www.spreaker.com/user/crazyheart/stereo-typed-8-dancing-with-your-shadow
I appear on the Boom Doctors Podcast to discuss my new book Modern Sexuality and my work as a sex therapist. Clink the link below to listen in.
http://theboomdoctors.com/2016/09/21/ep-132-michael-aaron-on-his-work-as-a-sex-therapist-his-new-book-modern-sexuality/
I was asked by Nylon Magazine to weigh in on the subject of porn and what it means about the individual consumer. Pretty good non-pathologizing piece, check it out here:
I was interviewed by Vocativ about a new virtual reality series entitled "Virtual Sexology," designed to provide breathing and relaxation exercises in a virtual reality format to help individuals improve sexual functioning. Will something like this prove effective? The jury is out, but check out what I had to say...
I appeared on the nationally broadcasted Fusion Network Hotline show to discuss the GOP platform of porn as a "public health crisis." As part of the discussion I debate Dr. Neil Malamuth on porn and sexual violence. I thought this was a very thorough and productive half hour, which you can watch below:
In this Huffington Post article, I advise couples to use sex menus to spice things up. Check out all the details in the link below.

I appeared on French national tv channel Canal + on the Emission Antoine tv show, discussing the psychology behind financial domination. I will post a video clip of the interview shortly.
I was interviewed on Huffington Post's Love + Sex Podcast, which I'm told is the most downloaded sex and relationship podcast on iTunes. In this episode, I dispel the wild myths about "sex roulette" parties.
I was interviewed for an upcoming online sexuality discussion series, the Sexual Reawakening Summit. It features many top sex therapists from around the country and you can access it by using this link:
In the April edition of my Men's Fitness 'Sex Files' Q&A column, I answer questions about anal sex and porn. Hurry and pick up a copy before it's off the stands!

I was asked by Women's Health Magazine to provide some advise on how to incorporate some new positions to spice up one's sex life. With a bunch of pictures and diagrams, I'm sure you'll find something that will intrigue you.
Looks like Yahoo News picked up the Reuters article on women's fears that their partners expect sexual perfectionism. Check it out.
My latest interview with Reuters, this time about social pressure on women to be perfect sexually. "Our society is filled with sexual myths and misconceptions, mostly stemming from a combination of our culture's puritanical roots, as well as rampant consumerism, which feeds off individual insecurities to sell unnecessary products," Aaron said.
Head out to the newsstands and grab a copy of the Jan 2016 issue of Men's Fitness Magazine to see the premier of the new monthly "Sex Files" column in which I answer readers' sex questions. In this month's issue I answer a question in which a guy is looking to help his girlfriend enjoy more pleasure when she is having sex on top. Check out the screenshot below to see my response:

Love& is a new magazine about relationships and sex. They interviewed me about common things that women may want their guys to improve upon in the bedroom. One of the big ones is touch, as a lot of men are way too rough and don't know how to adjust their touch to what their partner wants. For more on this, and other pointers, check out the article itself below:
Market analysts predict that new virtual reality technology will revolutionize the way we experience media, and will specifically boost the porn industry to unprecedented levels. This detailed article covers a lot of ground, addressing both the technology, business and social ramifications of virtual reality porn. I was asked to give my take on the issue and somehow a 20 minute phone conversation was distilled to a brief paragraph at the end of the piece, but nonetheless, it is still a worthwhile read.
Does Bill Cosby have a fetish for unconscious women? Who knows? He's not a client and I've never met him, so I cannot say for sure, but this provocative piece in the NY Times tries to get to the bottom of his alleged bizarre behavior. The reporter did a great job dealing with some uncomfortable material, so be sure to click the link below to see what I had to say on this issue:
I was recently asked by a reporter from Men's Fitness magazine to discuss reasons why a heterosexual man might refrain from having sex with a willing woman. The questions were basically soft balls, seemingly aimed at a younger, more inexperienced, male audience, but hey, I managed to drop a few decent pointers, relating to finding out if the woman is in a relationship, and if so, what kind of relationship she is in before diving in. If you want to take a look and poke around more, you can go directly to the article below. You are going to have to click to page 3 to see my quotes, btw.
I was recently interviewed for a Men's Health article on sex toys designed for men. They wanted to know my take on these "robotic masturbators" (as they called them) and as always, I tried to take a fair and balanced view of things. I pointed out that they could be used as a way to get better acquainted with one's sexuality (as well as get some much needed relief), but an over-reliance on technology may also limit guys from developing the necessary skills that would help them form romantic relationships.
At any rate, hurry on over to the article here--
Go check out a great, and I mean GREAT, absolutely fascinating article in the May issue of Upscale Magazine, entitled "Secret Lovers," in which I am interviewed regarding the hush hush world of the swinger subculture. The writer does a really good job of trying to understand the psychology of folks who practice consensual non-monogamy and I think the piece is very even-handed, with some practical tips for couples who are curious about dipping their toes in the lifestyle. I'll leave you with a quote from one of the swingers profiled in the piece, which I think gives a good feel for the tone and depth of the article-- "I love to see her with two guys and two girls at once. I enjoy submissive women, and there is no sexier submission than to watch my wife please me by pleasing others." If that sounds interesting, then I suggest you head out and grab a copy. It's well worth the read.
I am featured in the Sex Q&A section of Cosmo's April 2014 issue, in which I get asked about BJs, Plan B, sex in hot tubs, and all kinds of other tittilating reader questions. They did a good job of adding all kinds of humor, including a silly picture of tea bags-- need I say more? It's a can't- miss hoot. Go and check it out at news stands now!
I just recently did an interview for a cool podcast called
We are 63, happily married until my husband made some disclosures. He been seeing prostitutes during the our 6 yr premarital relationship.He has been a porn addict since age ten.His sexual choice is deep throat oral sex. I wd had left him at the movie theatre in 1974 had I known any of this. When he met me, his first girlfriend, he felt nothing for me so he intensified his porn genre with the deep oral sex. He did not take precautions with prostitutes, so after our 1980 wedding, I developed 8 stds. I am a nurse, but I am also a woman who had been sexually abused by a dentist at age 5. So my life experience has taught me well stuff overwhelming memories into a box, tie with a string and push it far back in the attic of my memory. So I have suffered for 20 months after Discovery-day. All thru this, he has never loved another woman. Love and sex are forever divided in his mind. He has never been with another woman since we married. When I co fro ted him @ stds, he blamed me! I had never been with anyone else. He loves me, and ne has been a gread dad. No sex for past 15 yrs b/c he lied that Celexa 40mg ruined his libido. He regularly viewed porn , his genre. So right now I accept no-sex marriage. He has no libido at 40 mg Celexa. And I am sick of knowing I refuse to provide the only sex that matters to him. It is too much of a risk to our marriage. He needs the chemical castration and no longer wants the world of porn. We had 25 yrs of good, but infrequent sex. Porn was his preference. He never asked me flr sex. I see him as developmentally arrested in sex at puberty. He never fused sex and love. I am ready to take an asexual relationship as long as he does not masturbate to videos of porn. That cannot be a part of our marriage. I lost both breasts preventatively. I wish I kept one breast,but he was permanently on a Celexa dose that killed his libido. I hate he did not deter me. He was downstairs for hrs, wkly, masturbating to porn. I consider it Chemical castration now. And I will live with that. Despite all this, I know he loves me. He is a sex addict. No empathy for me when pursuing his addict substance. But no interest in any sex when on Celexa 40 mg.He wd treat Miss America the same way as me. And he wd not want to e married to a woman who talks filthy during sex , and performs the deep, oral sex. Swallowing it is an extra benefit! Maybe wives do this. Whatever two consenting adults do. I wonder if prostitutes feel they are doing the dirty work that girlfriends won,t do. I wd have walked away from the relationship if I knew his prefererences early on.We live in NJ. I feel incredibly inadequate. He has repented for what he has done to me.Glad i did not get herpes or hepatitis. I feel like a human cesspool when I think back. The UTI lasted 2 yrs and is now considered a STD. My husband had no symptoms. His whores did not wear condoms but his wife did!! I never knew I needed protection so I was fine with non latex condoms. For the honorable man! He was sexually abused as a child, early puberty at ten and overexposure to porn magazines.