I was recently looking through some archives of some old articles I had written years ago. From time to time, I will use reuse some old material that readers of this blog may find helpful. I wrote the following piece for a relationship site a number of years ago, but it is still relevant today as ever. I hope you enjoy…..

The first few months of a promising relationship are always exciting, but inevitably even the best relationships start to slow down as they mature and start to feel like they are falling into a rut. You become habituated to the other person, no matter how interesting or sexy they are, and both of you start to give up to the grind of a daily routine.

Stop.

This will kill your relationship. The death-knell of any good relationship are the words dull, routine, or grind as opposed to fun, sexy, spontaneous, and exciting.

Remember this list of good words and bad words as a quick guide to see whether or if your relationship is on track:

Good Words      Bad Words

Fun                        Boring

Sexy                      Plain

Spontaneous     Routine

Exciting               Dull

Get it?

So let’s introduce another concept that will lead to more fun, sexy, spontaneous and exciting times rather than boring, plan, routine, dull ones. Here’s the concept- ANTICIPATION.

This can be a running idea that lasts for the whole day, week, month or year. This is how it works: Put an idea into your partner’s head about something that is going to happen in the not too distant future that seems fun and exciting and keep referring back and touching upon this topic. It will serve to put your partner in a different mind state and feel excited even if nothing particularly exciting is happening at the time.

For example, let’s say you are planning a vacation next month. Keep touching upon and building on this topic with your partner throughout the month to build his or her anticipation… it will build excitement for the actual event as well as put both partners in that kind of excited mind set, which will spill over into real time. So instead of plopping down on the couch and watching the same boring TV, both partners, in this elevated state of mind, will decide to go out to a romantic dinner to talk more about their exciting vacation. Sounds simple, but it is very powerful.

This just doesn’t have to be about vacations or exciting trips, it can be a about regular day-to-day stuff. Remind your wife about the romantic dinner you have planned to try a new cuisine that night and keep reminding her, it will build up her anticipation and make her feel excited to see you when she comes home. Tell your boyfriend how you are going to make love to him like crazy that night and text and IM him constantly about it so that it’s all he thinks about. You don’t think he’ll come rushing home to see you?

Keeping things exciting doesn’t necessarily mean doing something extravagant or exotic or edgy. Rather, it’s a state of mind. Great relationships take some work, so make an effort to keep your partner in a constant state of anticipation.