When couples come into my office seeking to reconnect, they have often gone months or years drifting further and further apart. Unchecked, this process can leave them feeling like roommates living parallel lives, rather than engaged lovers. Under these circumstances, efforts to revive sparks often feel awkward, forced and unnatural. It’s hard to feel physically or emotionally close to someone with whom you have completely lost connection.
I think that time often plays an important role in these situations. The longer the relationship has drifted, the harder it is to get back on track. Take a look at my previous articles on this topic for greater depth. This particular article will focus more on preventative strategies to prevent relational drift, although these same behaviors can assist if the relationship has veered off course. Again, the further apart the partners have drifted and the more time that has elapsed, the harder it will feel to achieve actionable results. Patience and strong desire will be required for sustained improvement in these cases.
Fundamentally, one of the most important and powerful ways that we can show a strong interest in another person is to maintain our curiosity about that individual. Too often folks feel, after spending a number of years with a person, that they know everything there is to know, and they start to lose all sense of curiosity. But relationships are not stagnant. People never stay the same. Often one individual is experiencing a growth spurt, while the other may be in a holding pattern, never evolving much past the honeymoon phase. In these situations, the growing individual may seek […]