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Monthly Archives: March 2014

The Hidden Meaning of Sexual Fantasies

Sexual fantasies can create a wide mix of reactions for people. They may often feel exciting and exhilarating. But often sexual fantasies may feel troubling for the person who is experiencing them. They may seem so at odds with the person’s view of themselves that the individual may feel intense shame and a strong desire to do anything to get rid of them. Often though, the sexual fantasies are harmless and trying to understand them, rather than push them away, will be the most helpful strategy to disarm them. Many times, the fantasy actually loses all its power if acted upon; the strength of the fantasy is only in the fantasy.

I see sexual fantasies as types of waking dreams. And just as many people keep dream journals or like to discuss their dreams with friends or their therapist, so too can sexual fantasies be analyzed in much the same. Just like dreams, sexual fantasies can be seen as wish-fulfillment. For example, someone who feels overburdened with responsibility may experience frequent fantasies involving submission scenarios, where the full brunt of responsibility is shifted to another person. Or, someone who feels  invisible in his or her daily life may experience fantasies involving power, dominance, and control.

Fantasies involving strangers or numerous partners can point towards a strong desire for anonymity. Fantasies involving aggressive acts or rough sex may indicate an underlying feeling of rage towards the object of the fantasy or just simply a desire for reckless abandon in the face of a daily life filled with keeping up a facade of collected calm and control. Fantasies […]

Addicted to Addiction

Last week, a colleague consulted with me on a challenging case in which his client cannot enjoy sex unless he is engaged in smoking. The client, who also struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), specifically cites the feeling of being addicted to nicotine as the most arousing aspect of this behavior. In other words, he is aroused by addiction.

In trying to make sense of this, I think the first thing to understand is the role that this person’s OCD plays in his everyday experience of life. Many would argue that OCD is some sort of inborn disruption of the neurochemicals in the brain, and maybe there’s some truth to that in some cases, but the first things that I look at are the themes of anxiety and control. Specifically, how do this person’s obsessions and compulsions help him to gain a greater sense of control over his anxiety?  In my experience, an individual experiencing either obsessions (incessant thoughts) or compulsions (incessant behaviors) inevitably uses either or both of these as strategies to manage and control anxiety. Unfortunately, they often only serve the purpose of making the anxiety worse.

Often, other people will categorize those who suffer with OCD as “anal” or “control freaks,” but this controlling behavior can best be understood as an antidote to the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that these folks experience on a regular basis. The constant ruminating (obsessional thinking) and ritualized behaviors (compulsions) can come across as overly controlled, but this is the only way that these folks have learned to defend against constant and intense anxiety.

This is where I think the […]

How Do You Know if You are Ready to be in a Relationship?

This is an article I originally wrote for the dating website Singles Warehouse…

Let’s say you’ve been single for a while, or maybe you recently got out of a relationship and you are ready to start dating again. This time, you want the relationship to last, but how do you know that you are ready to begin something new and healthy?

Before hitting the dating scene, make sure you ask yourself the following three questions:

Do you feel like you have a full life?

Do you have a variety of friends and social events on your calendar? Do you have hobbies and activities that you feel passionate about? Do you feel like you have a purpose in your life? If so, chances are that you are more ready to include someone else in your happiness.

If, however, you are hoping that someone else will provide you with all these things, you may be sorely mistaken.  Expecting someone else to make you happy places a ton of pressure and unrealistic expectations onto the relationship. This kind of one-sided dynamic rarely works out, often burdening the other partner and sending them running for the hills.

Do you like who you are?

This is similar to the previous question, but more internally focused. Answering this question requires brutal self-honesty, but it is very important to sort out. You can help yourself along by asking yourself the following questions. Do you usually feel upbeat and optimistic, or depressed and anxious? Do you feel that you deserve to be loved and in a relationship, or if someone were to show interest, would you wonder if […]

When It Comes to Sex, It’s All About Intent

As a therapist, I am often asked to differentiate between positive and healthy sexual behavior and that behavior which can be considered “pathological,” or unhealthy. The difference is often a very fine line, seeming vague and unclear to most observers. When it comes down to it, two different people can be engaged in the exact same behavior, but for two radically different reasons– one that enhances the person’s life and the other that undermines it. When trying to determine what is healthy or not when it comes to sex, what it often boils down to is intent.

By intent,  I mean the purpose underlying the person’s actions. Is the sexual act creating pleasure and fulfillment in the lives of everyone involved, or is it coercive and manipulative, pleasing one person but exploiting or harming others? As an example, I recently did an interview with a magazine writer who was inquiring about the swinger subculture. The journalist wanted to know if it was a healthy activity for couples, and my answer, as is often the case, was… it depends. Has the couple discussed clearly what they expect from their encounter? Have they discussed hard limits and boundaries? Are they clear on why they are looking to open up the relationship? In that case, if everyone is on board and clear about what they want, then the experience may be positive and add fuel to their sexual relationship. However, it is also not uncommon for someone to drag the other person into a party under covert threat of the dissolution of the relationship if the other person […]

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Prevention: Is Sex Addiction Real?

Great article in Prevention Magazine about the sex addiction controversy. Check out what I had to say. https://www.prevention.com/sex/a21969931/sex-addiction-signs/

Romper: Emotional Infidelity

Romper approached me again for another quote, this time about emotional infidelity. https://www.romper.com/p/if-your-partner-has-done-these-7-things-they-might-have-committed-emotional-infidelity-12803527

Fatherly: BDSM More Common Than You Think

Interesting piece in Fatherly about BDSM in which I was interviewed. https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/bdsm-kinky-sex-not-uncommon/

E! Online: Marrying a Murderer

E! News picked up my an interview I did with Vice a few years ago about hybristophilia, which is the attraction to criminals. Very interesting story. https://www.eonline.com/news/979800/marrying-a-murderer-the-women-who-fall-in-love-with-men-behind-bars

Who Magazine: What is Bisexuality?

Who is Australia's version of People Magazine. They wanted to know what bisexuality is and I provided some insight. https://www.who.com.au/what-is-bisexual

CNN: Why Men May Exaggerate Their Sex Numbers

Seems like something doesn't add up on sex surveys-- are men exaggerating their number of partners? Check out what I tell CNN. https://www.cnn.com/2018/09/06/health/number-of-sex-partners-kerner/index.html

Women’s Health: 10 Kinky Sex Ideas

Women's Health asked me for some kinky ideas to spice up one's sex life. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a22863334/kinky-sex-ideas/

Romper: 5 Easy Postpartum Sex Positions

NY Post: How Tattoos Can Sabotage Your Love Life

I was interviewed by the NY Post about all the ways in which I've seen bad tattoos sabotage relationships. https://nypost.com/2018/04/25/how-tattoos-can-sabotage-your-love-life/

Allure: 8 BDSM Sex Tips to Try If You’re a Total Beginner

Allure Magazine asked me about tips for BDSM beginners. https://www.allure.com/story/bondage-sex-tips-for-bdsm-beginners

Romper: 7 Mental Health Benefits Of Orgasms, As If You Need An Excuse

Salon.com: On Pornhub you can search anything: Politicians, pop stars, even fidget spinners

I answer questions from Salon.com about the infamous porn site PornHub. www.salon.com/2018/01/20/on-pornhub-you-can-search-anything-politicians-pop-stars-even-fidget-spinners/

NY Post: Why having sex when you’re tired can ruin your relationship

I tell NY Post that it's not a good idea to keep trying to have sex when you are exhausted. https://nypost.com/2017/12/27/why-having-sex-when-youre-tired-can-ruin-your-relationship/

Women’s Health: Can You Really Be Addicted To Sex? Here’s Everything You Should Know

I explained to Women's Health my position on why sex addiction is not the most accurate label to describe sexually compulsive behavior. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/what-is-sex-addiction  

Cosmopolitan: 7 Signs You Might Be Hard-Wired for Monogamy

I tell Cosmo about the personality traits of monogamous individuals. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a12454448/signs-you-need-monogamy/

Refinery29: So You’ve Been Faking Orgasms — & Now You Want To Stop

I explain to Refinery29 why it's so important to not fake orgasms in a relationship. http://www.refinery29.com/stop-faking-orgasms-during-sex-advice

Women’s Health: Exactly How To Ask If The Person You’re Dating Is Sleeping With Other People

Interesting piece in Women's Health where I am interviewed on how to ask someone your dating about their own dating habits. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/is-he-seeing-other-people

Refinery29: After Being Friends With Benefits, Can You Ever Go Back To Just Friends?

I am interviewed by Refinery29 about "Friends with Benefits" relationships. http://www.refinery29.com/sex-buddy-friend-with-benefits-break-up

CNN: What counts as ‘cheating’ in the digital age?

I discuss the difference between privacy and secrecy in this CNN piece on infidelity. http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/16/health/cheating-internet-sex-kerner/

Men’s Fitness: 5 ways porn can affect your relationship

I am interviewed in this fairly nuanced piece on the pros and cons of porn. http://www.mensfitness.com/women/sex-tips/5-ways-porn-can-affect-your-relationship

Fatherly: 6 Quiet Sex Positions That Won’t Wake The Kids

I provide tips to new fathers on how they can keep the sex going even when they need to keep quiet. https://www.fatherly.com/love-and-money/sex-and-intimacy/6-quiet-sex-positions/

Headspace: How To Get Out of Your Head to Enjoy Sex More

I am interviewed by Headspace, one of the best meditation and mindfulness apps available, on how to become more present. https://www.headspace.com/blog/2017/05/26/enjoy-sex-more/

Business Insider: How Often Do Happy Couples Have Sex?

I am interviewed in this intriguing Business Insider article on how often happy couples have sex. http://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-happy-couples-have-sex-relationship-2017-5

Huffington Post: Why You Need to Remove ‘Sex Addiction’ From Your Vocabulary

The Huffington Post in South Africa profiles my work around challenging sex addiction (including my red/yellow/green menu exercise) . http://www.huffingtonpost.co.za/marlene-wasserman/lets-replace-sex-addiction-with-out-of-control-behaviour_a_22074923/

Women’s Health: 5 Sex Positions To Try If You Are Bored

I provide some "technical" advice in this Women's Health piece. http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/tabletop-sex-positions

Refinery 29: What To Do If You Get a Panic Attack During Sex

I provide some tips for people struggling with panic attacks. http://www.refinery29.com/panic-attacks-during-sex-tips

VICE: Differences Between Men’s and Women’s Sex Toys

Women’s Health: How Can I Tell If I’m a Squirter?

I am interviewed by Women's Health about squirting and what it is. http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/how-to-tell-if-you-can-squirt

Refinery 29: Turned on by Blood

I am asked by Refinery 29 to comment on why people may be aroused by blood. http://www.refinery29.com/blood-play-sexual-fetish-tips

Refinery 29: Piercing Fetish

I am featured in this very intriguing article on fetishes related to piercing and "needle play." http://www.refinery29.com/genital-piercing-sexual-fetish

The Tab: What Happens When Your Boyfriend Leaves You For Another Man?

I give some insight into this interesting topic. https://thetab.com/us/2017/03/22/happens-boyfriend-leaves-another-man-63306

Independent (UK): What the Future of Porn Looks Like For Women

I am featured in this outstanding article in UK's Independent on women and virtual reality porn. I thought this was a fairly sharp and nuanced piece. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/porn-future-sex-dolls-vr-adult-films-women-actresses-virtual-reality-a7640071.html

VICE: Uptick in Dominatrix and Porn Use Since Trump

Recent reports have indicated that there has been an uptick in demand for dominatrixes since Trump took office. I give my insight on this topic to Vice.com https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/vvjew4/dominatrixes-and-porn-sites-report-a-huge-bdsm-uptick-since-trump-became-president

Redbook: What To Do If Your Husband Wants a Threesome

I give Redbook some pointers on having a 3some for the first time. http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/sex/news/a46151/how-to-have-a-threesome/

Maxim: Why Some Women are Turned On By Looking at Themselves

Playboy Compares 50 Shades with My Research

Playboy sent a journalist to watch Fifty Shades Darker, and then compared the movie with the results from my recent groundbreaking research on BDSM. Great article, enjoy! http://www.playboy.com/articles/fifty-shades-darker-review

Refinery 29: Autosexuality

I was interviewed in Refinery29 about autosexuality, a little known and poorly understood sexual orientation. http://www.refinery29.com/2017/02/141054/turn-yourself-on-mirror-sex

The Independent (UK) Feature on My Book Modern Sexuality

The Independent, one of the UK's biggest magazine ran an entire feature profiling my new book Modern Sexuality, in light of new proposed UK laws on porn and sexuality. Great analysis, definitely check this article out. http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/sex-kink-shaming-porn-preferences-society-not-as-sexually-liberated-as-it-thinks-a7579496.html

CNN: Is Fifty Shades a Boon or Bust for Kink?

I was interviewed for this CNN article, exploring the impact of the Fifty Shades trilogy on contemporary sexual life. http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/10/health/fifty-shades-kink-sex-kerner/

New York Magazine: Should Shame Be Used to Treat Sexual Compulsions?

I am featured in this terrific New York Magazine article, discussing some of the finer points brought up in the earlier article in SELF magazine (see listing below). http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2017/01/should-shame-be-used-to-treat-sexual-compulsions.html

Self: How to Treat Sex Addiction When You Don’t Think It Exists

I am featured in this terrific article in SELF magazine on the nuances of the sex addiction debate. http://www.self.com/story/sex-addiction-treatment-therapy

Refinery29: 10 Ways to Tell Your Partner About Your Kink

I appear in this very informative article on revealing sexual desires to one's partner. http://www.refinery29.com/kinky-sex-how-to-talk-about-fetishes#slide

Complex: Is Unsafe Sex the Latest Kink

Complex asked me to weigh in on this provocative topic. http://www.complex.com/life/2017/01/putting-yourself-at-risk-for-stds

Vice: The Cost of Losing Your Virginity Late

I appear in Vice.com, discussing an important but poorly understand subject. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/the-cost-of-losing-your-virginity-late

Cosmopolitan: Why I Slept With a Married Man

I was asked by Cosmo to comment on this provocative subject. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8524853/cheating-with-married-men/

Men’s Fitness: January ‘Sex Files’ Q&A

Check out my responses in my sex column 'Sex Files' in the Jan issue of Men's Fitness magazine.

CNN: Is Sex Addiction Real?

I'm interviewed, along with a number of my colleagues, in this great CNN article on a controversial topic. http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/14/health/sex-addiction-real-or-not-kerner/

Thrillist: Signs He’s Undateable

I weigh in in this great advice column in Thrillist by Elle Stanger. https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/nation/relationship-advice-from-a-stripper

Men’s Fitness: November ‘Sex Files’ Q&A

Check out my answers in my Men's Fitness column 'Sex Files' in the Nov 2016 issue.    

Future of Sex Podcast: Exploring Sexual Fluidity

Great episode, check it out. https://soundcloud.com/futureofsex/04-exploring-sexual-fluidity-bicuriousity-for-women-featuring-skirt-club-and-dr-michael-aaron

Broadly: ‘Sleep Incompatible’ Couples

I give couples advice on how to deal with differences in preferred sleeping arrangements. https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/when-the-sex-is-great-but-you-suck-at-sleeping-next-to-each-other

Self Magazine: 9 Things Everyone Gets Wrong About BDSM

I debunk myths about BDSM in this SELF magazine article. http://www.self.com/story/bdsm-facts

Alternet: What Makes People Kinky?

Alternet does a great job of reviewing my book. Check out the link below. http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/what-makes-people-kinky

Nothing Off Limits Podcast

In this episode, we talk about the societal myths of sexuality, including:
  1.  the false belief that sexuality is learned and can be changed,
  2.  that non-normative sexual behavior is pathological,
  3. that healthy sexuality involves intimacy,
  4. that intimacy is easily defined and mean the same to everyone, and
  5. that sexual behavior must have a clearly defined purpose.
We also discuss:
  • harm reduction
  • epigenetics
  • BDSM
  • fetishes
  • partialisms
  • polyamory
  • the darker aspects of psychotherapy when it comes to homosexuality
  • Dr. Aaron’s opinion on the book and movie ’50 Shades of Grey’
  • mismatched desire in couples…and a lot more.
Check it out by clicking the link below! http://ladyfoxentertainment.com/2016/11/06/dr-michael-aaron-on-his-book-modern-sexuality-the-truth-about-sex-and-relationships/

Alternet: Why We’re Still Hot for Erotic Literature

I weigh in on why people still enjoy erotic literature. Click the link below. http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/porn-paper-why-were-still-hot-erotic-literature

Playboy Reviews My Book Modern Sexuality

What a great review! Playboy says Modern Sexuality is incredible! Click the link to check out the review. http://www.playboy.com/articles/in-2016-kinky-sex-is-the-new-norm

Mike E & Emma Australian Radio Show

I was asked to appear on Australian radio. It was a very fun segment, will post the link when I have it!

Cosmopolitan: Meet the Guys Obsessed with the Smell of Vagina

I was asked by Cosmo why some men may love the smell of vagina. It's kind of an off-the-wall topic, but apparently many people are interested in learning about this! http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a5235300/guys-who-love-the-smell-vagina/

Stereo-Typed Podcast: Dancing With Your Shadow

I appear on the Stereo-Typed podcast to discuss my new book, fantasies, and our shadow self. Click the audio player below and enjoy! https://www.spreaker.com/user/crazyheart/stereo-typed-8-dancing-with-your-shadow

The Boom Doctors Podcast

I appear on the Boom Doctors Podcast to discuss my new book Modern Sexuality and my work as a sex therapist. Clink the link below to listen in. http://theboomdoctors.com/2016/09/21/ep-132-michael-aaron-on-his-work-as-a-sex-therapist-his-new-book-modern-sexuality/

Nylon: The Porn You Watch Does Not Define You

I was asked by Nylon Magazine to weigh in on the subject of porn and what it means about the individual consumer. Pretty good non-pathologizing piece, check it out here: http://www.nylon.com/articles/porn-habits-relationship

Vocativ: Is VR Porn the Future of Sex Therapy?

I was interviewed by Vocativ about a new virtual reality series entitled "Virtual Sexology," designed to provide breathing and relaxation exercises in a virtual reality format to help individuals improve sexual functioning. Will something like this prove effective? The jury is out, but check out what I had to say... http://www.vocativ.com/347885/badoink-vr-sex-therapy/

Fusion Network: What is ‘Healthy’ When It Comes to Porn

I appeared on the nationally broadcasted Fusion Network Hotline show to discuss the GOP platform of porn as a "public health crisis." As part of the discussion I debate Dr. Neil Malamuth on porn and sexual violence. I thought this was a very thorough and productive half hour, which you can watch below:

Broadly– Fatal Attraction: The Women Who Love Serial Killers

In this "edgy" and "piercing" piece,  I was asked by Broadly about why certain people might attracted to the allure of dangerous individuals. The article covers a lot of ground, including harm reduction strategies, so definitely take a moment to check it out: https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/hybristophilia-fatal-attraction-the-women-who-love-serial-killers

Vocativ: Best Mattresses for “Sex-Having”

I guess this must be a serious issue, as Vocativ tends to focus on reporting on trending topics. At any rate, people seem to really want to know what is the best kind of mattress for having sex, so naturally Vocativ got in touch with me to find out. Take a look: http://www.vocativ.com/339728/hey-sex-havers-heres-how-you-should-choose-your-next-mattress/

Huffington Post: 7 Ways to Save Your Sexless Marriage

In this Huffington Post article, I advise couples to use sex menus to spice things up. Check out all the details in the link below. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/how-to-save-your-sexless-marriage-according-to-sex-therapists_us_57740608e4b0cc0fa1362d64

WBAI 99.5FM NYC Radio interview part 2

In the second episode we focus solely on clinical issues, including how I work with issues around desire discrepancy. I cover a lot of substantive and actionable material here, much of which I also include in my upcoming book.
Enjoy!

WBAI 99.5FM NYC Radio interview part 1

I recently appeared on WBAI 99.5FM NYC radio. We had so much material, we stretched it into 2 hours spanning 2 separate shows.
In this first episode we focus on sexological issues, including sex addiction and then the last 40 min or so were almost completely focused on transgender issues. We also get into some other topics such as newly formed identities such as "otherkin" and the "transabled" and I took some calls from some trans folks. It was a blast.

French TV Canal +: Financial Domination

I appeared on French national tv channel Canal + on the Emission Antoine tv show, discussing the psychology behind financial domination. I will post a video clip of the interview shortly.

Alternet: Why Trans Porn is Hugely Popular Among Hetero Men

Many people have been wondering about this subject and I weigh in with all the details in this Alternet article on why trans porn is so damn popular with straight guys. http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/why-trans-porn-hugely-popular-among-hetero-men . I also provide some resources and citations to get the conversation started on this compelling topic.
From the article: "Aaron introduced us to the concept of 'queer heterosexuality,' or more fluid and non-binary expression of heterosexual identity. Some hope opening up the discussion will 'begin to give voice and legitimacy to the queerness that exists within the straight male world,' as one study puts it."

Women’s Health: 5 Ways to Make Sex With Condoms Feel So Much Better

I was recently interviewed in Women's Health Magazine on different strategies to make sex with condoms feel better. The title is pretty self explanatory. Check it out! http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/condom-sex-tips

Huffington Post: Love + Sex Podcast

I was interviewed on Huffington Post's Love + Sex Podcast, which I'm told is the most downloaded sex and relationship podcast on iTunes. In this episode, I dispel the wild myths about "sex roulette" parties. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sex-roulette-parties-podcast_us_57504bbae4b0ed593f136ca0

Nylon: 10 Things We Learned at an Alt Sex Conference

Check out this very "edgy" writeup of the AltSex NYC Conference from last April by Nylon Magazine. Sample quote: "Not only did Aaron put forth that it’s okay and healthy to enjoy edge play, but he spoke of it’s healing potential, sharing that some sexual assault survivors he has worked with found healing and enjoyment through rape fantasies with someone they trust. It’s an extremely delicate and tricky subject, as a sexual assault survivor myself, while totally supportive of rape fantasy roleplaying, such activities have to absolutely be done with someone you trust and can run a risk of re-traumatizing, a risk Aaron fully acknowledged." http://www.nylon.com/articles/things-we-learned-at-alt-sex-conference#page-1

The Sexual Reawakening Summit

I was interviewed for an upcoming online sexuality discussion series, the Sexual Reawakening Summit. It features many top sex therapists from around the country and you can access it by using this link: http://sexualreawakening.org/michael/

Men’s Fitness: April “Sex Files” Q&A Column

In the April edition of my Men's Fitness 'Sex Files' Q&A column, I answer questions about anal sex and porn. Hurry and pick up a copy before it's off the stands! April Sex Files

Women’s Health: 5 Sex Moves That Flow Seamlessly into New Positions

I was asked by Women's Health Magazine to provide some advise on how to incorporate some new positions to spice up one's sex life. With a bunch of pictures and diagrams, I'm sure you'll find something that will intrigue you. http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/sex-positions-that-transition-easily  

AlterNet: A Surprising Number of Men are Renting Digital Girlfriends

I weigh in on this piece on Alternet about technology and the future of relationships. It's a good read overall, and here's a choice quote from me that may peak your interest: Psychotherapist Aaron says, “A lot of men may feel ashamed or embarrassed or uncomfortable talking about or revealing certain sexual fantasies that they have with a partner. For a lot of men, porn is a private way to explore their own sexuality. It’s nonjudgmental, and it’s not shaming. I think that’s a big draw.” According to Aaron, landing a virtual girlfriend provides the same kind of appeal. http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/future-online-dating-just-dating-virtually

New York Magazine Covers the 1st Annual Alt Sex NYC Conference

New York Magazine sent a reporter to attend the conference I created and co-produced, the 1st Annual Alt Sex NYC Conference, and came away with three key things they learned from the event. Enjoy! http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/04/3-insights-about-kinky-and-nonmonogamous-sex.html

Yahoo News picks up Reuters article on Sexual Perfectionism

Looks like Yahoo News picked up the Reuters article on women's fears that their partners expect sexual perfectionism. Check it out. https://www.yahoo.com/news/sex-no-fun-think-partner-perfectionist-215424209.html

Reuters: Sex is No Fun When You Think You’re Partner is a Perfectionist

My latest interview with Reuters, this time about social pressure on women to be perfect sexually. "Our society is filled with sexual myths and misconceptions, mostly stemming from a combination of our culture's puritanical roots, as well as rampant consumerism, which feeds off individual insecurities to sell unnecessary products," Aaron said. http://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-sexuality-perfectionism-idUSKCN0XA2LU

NY Post Picks Up Reuters Article About Kinky Sex

Remember that Reuters article about kinky sex (see below)? Looks like the NY Post is also covering it as well. Check it out: http://nypost.com/2016/03/18/lots-of-people-like-the-kinky-sex-psychologists-call-abnormal/

Reuters: Lots of People Like Kinky Sex Psychologists Call Abnormal

I was asked by news agency Reuters to weigh in on a recent Canadian study of 1000 inhabitants of Quebec, in which nearly half of respondents stated that they enjoyed some form of kinky sex. I pulled no punches with my comments, found towards the end of the piece. Enjoy! The original academic journal article can be found here: http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2016.1139034. The news article can be seen here: http://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-sex-norms-idUSKCN0WK2HZ

Sex with Timaree Podcast: Discussing the 1st Annual AltSex NYC Conference

Want to know more about what the AltSex NYC Conference is all about? I appear with my co-organizer, Dulcinea Pitagora, on the Sex with Timaree show, a popular podcast, to discuss numerous things including how the conference was created and what attendees can expect. Click on the link below to check it out: https://sexwithtimareepodcast.wordpress.com/2016/02/29/ep236-the-upcoming-alt-sex-nyc-conference-sex-with-timaree-altsexnyc-2/

Prevention Magazine: 9 Sex Secrets Every Sex Therapist Knows (And You Should, Too)

I was featured in this very eye-catching article in Prevention Magazine. Typical relationship stuff. You gotta spice it up, keep things interesting, schedule dates, etc. Some interesting tidbits, but overall, it's worth checking out. http://www.prevention.com/sex/advice-and-secrets-from-sex-therapists

“The Sex Files”: My New Monthly Q&A Column in Men’s Fitness Magazine

Head out to the newsstands and grab a copy of the Jan 2016 issue of Men's Fitness Magazine to see the premier of the new monthly "Sex Files" column in which I answer readers' sex questions. In this month's issue I answer a question in which a guy is looking to help his girlfriend enjoy more pleasure when she is having sex on top. Check out the screenshot below to see my response: AskSexJan-Feb

CNN: What It Means to Be Pansexual

I was asked by CNN to weigh in on what it means to be "pansexual." Here's an excerpt from my interview:

"It is a broad word, and that is because people want to have the freedom to self-identify any way they want without being labeled by anyone else," said psychotherapist and sex therapist Michael Aaron.

"It has cultural resonance because it is so broad and allows for so much flexibility and choice."

For the entire story click here: http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/09/living/pansexual-feat/

Love&- 5 Things Wives Want Their Husbands to Know about Sex

Love& is a new magazine about relationships and sex. They interviewed me about common things that women may want their guys to improve upon in the bedroom. One of the big ones is touch, as a lot of men are way too rough and don't know how to adjust their touch to what their partner wants. For more on this, and other pointers, check out the article itself below: http://loveand.com/sex/5-things-wives-want-their-husbands-to-know-about-sex/

Thrillist: 5 “Terrifying” Sexual Disorders You Didn’t Know Existed

Despite the alarming headline, I was asked by lifestyle website the Thrillist to discuss a bunch of sexual issues that folks out there may encounter, such as Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD), sexsomnia and phimosis (when the foreskin does not fully retract and may cause pain). Much of what I said was cut out (as sometimes happens) but I get in a few good points on phimosis at the tail end. Phimosis is an issue I've encountered frequently enough with my male clients, so it's definitely worth a read. https://www.thrillist.com/sex-dating/nation/5-terrifying-sexual-disorders-you-didnt-know-existed

Vice.com: Cash Slaves

I am featured in the newly released Vice documentary, "Cash Slaves." This is a very edgy and provocative look at the underground world of Financial Domination (Findom). As usual, I wanted to provide a fair and balanced portrait of the subject matter and make sure that the material was not pathologized. Findom is regarded by many to be an extreme fetish and definitely touches upon some very gray areas. Take a look at the video below and you can come to your own conclusions!  

Men’s Fitness Magazine Advisory Board

I have recently been chosen to be on the Advisory Board of Men's Fitness Magazine. As part of that, I will be popping in now and then to answer reader questions. It's possible my role will expand in the future, and there have been discussions to that effect, but for the meantime, I will keep everyone posted when they can pick up an issue to see my responses in print.

Wall St Journal: The Future of Virtual Reality Porn

Market analysts predict that new virtual reality technology will revolutionize the way we experience media, and will specifically boost the porn industry to unprecedented levels. This detailed article covers a lot of ground, addressing both the technology, business and social ramifications of virtual reality porn. I was asked to give my take on the issue and somehow a 20 minute phone conversation was distilled to a brief paragraph at the end of the piece, but nonetheless, it is still a worthwhile read. http://www.marketwatch.com/story/how-the-future-of-virtual-reality-depends-on-porn-2015-07-15?

NY Times: Women of the World

Does Bill Cosby have a fetish for unconscious women? Who knows? He's not a client and I've never met him, so I cannot say for sure, but this provocative piece in the NY Times tries to get to the bottom of his alleged bizarre behavior. The reporter did a great job dealing with some uncomfortable material,  so be sure to click the link below to see what I had to say on this issue: http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2015/07/10/why-did-bill-cosby-want-to-have-sex-with-comatose-women/

Men’s Fitness- July 2015

I was recently asked by a reporter from Men's Fitness magazine to discuss reasons why a heterosexual man might refrain from having sex with a willing woman. The questions were basically soft balls, seemingly aimed at a younger, more inexperienced, male audience, but hey, I managed to drop a few decent pointers, relating to finding out if the woman is in a relationship, and if so, what kind of relationship she is in before diving in. If you want to take a look and poke around more, you can go directly to the article below. You are going to have to click to page 3 to see my quotes, btw. http://www.mensfitness.com/women/dating-advice/5-reasons-you-shouldnt-have-sex-her/slide/2

Huffington Post: Most Common Sex Problems

I was recently interviewed for a piece in the Huffington Post about common sex problems. Entitled "The Most Common Problems People Have in Bed, According to Sex Experts", the article interviews a number of sex therapists about the most common cases they see in their practice. I indicated that lack of sexual desire rated pretty high, and they kind of bunched it up under the the umbrella of "mismatched sexual desires", which when it comes to couples is definitely fair enough. Solid piece all around, and written by a gifted writer who has a number of other interesting articles on the site. Definitely check it out: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/03/common-sex-problems-experts_n_5978560.html?1415023230

Men’s Health- Building the Perfect Sex Machine

I was recently interviewed for a Men's Health article on sex toys designed for men. They wanted to know my take on these "robotic masturbators" (as they called them) and as always, I tried to take a fair and balanced view of things. I pointed out that they could be used as a way to get better acquainted with one's sexuality (as well as get some much needed relief), but an over-reliance on technology may also limit guys from developing the necessary skills that would help them form romantic relationships. At any rate, hurry on over to the article here-- Building the Perfect Sex Machine-- and you can form your own conclusions and decide for yourself.

Upscale Magazine- May 2014 Issue

Go check out a great, and I mean GREAT, absolutely fascinating article in the May issue of Upscale Magazine, entitled "Secret Lovers," in which I am interviewed regarding the hush hush world of the swinger subculture.  The writer does a really good job of trying to understand the psychology of folks who practice consensual non-monogamy and I think the piece is very even-handed, with some practical tips for couples who are curious about dipping their toes in the lifestyle. I'll leave you with a quote from one of the swingers profiled in the piece, which I think gives a good feel for the tone and depth of the article-- "I love to see her with two guys and two girls at once. I enjoy submissive women, and there is no sexier submission than to watch my wife please me by pleasing others."  If that sounds interesting, then I suggest you head out and grab a copy. It's well worth the read.

Cosmo- April 2014

I am featured in the Sex Q&A section of Cosmo's April 2014 issue, in which I get asked about BJs, Plan B, sex in hot tubs, and all kinds of other tittilating reader questions. They did a good job of adding all kinds of humor, including a silly picture of tea bags-- need I say more? It's a can't- miss hoot. Go and check it out at news stands now!

Sex For Smart People Podcast

I just recently did an interview for a cool podcast called Sex For Smart People. Here is their description of the show: Sex therapist/psychoanalyst Dr. Michael Aaron is our guest of honor this time. Hear his and our perspectives on things like: What to do when you feel less ravenous about sex than your partner feels? Is it really honestly possible to feel coziness/familiarity and also sexiness/mystery/excitement in a long term partnership? How do you begin to talk to your partner about your interest in power play? (Trigger warning, around the half hour mark, we talk explicitly about rape fantasies.) And did you know that *just this past year*, kinky behavior was officially de-pathologized in clinical psychology terms (we think it is about f*****g time)? Plus, Dave is super silly and time)? Plus, Dave is super silly and loopy on NyQuil, and he and Stephanie share their favorite pick-up lines. [audio mp3="http://www.drmichaelaaronnyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Episode-7-Relationships-Are-Something-You-Do-Not-Something-You-Have.mp3"][/audio]